WOW. Some people! Ok, I need to vent.
But what’s with the bra, you ask? I’ll tell you more about that later… Here’s what’s on my mind:
I really, truly, strongly dislike when people say can’t. Especially when I teach. You know, when people look me in the eye and say
“I can’t do this, I can’t do that…” I’m sure you know the type:
1.) The ones who simply don’t try. 2.) The few who admit defeat without even lifting a finger to see if they could. 3.) The ones who, when you’re giving your all, trying your absolute best and making an attempt at greatness, they continue to be the grey storm clouds filled with thunder and lightning, come to ruin a beautiful, sun-filled afternoon in the tropics.
Coincidentally, male or female, they all seem to own the same birth certificate because they share the exact same name:
“Debbie Downer”
Show Me To The Closest Urinal
And Debbie loves company. I call them energy suckers.
Anytime I meet an energy sucker in dance class, or waiting for the delayed streetcar, or buying cereal in aisle 3, (or any other place that humans congregate) I have the sudden urge to bolt like an Olympic sprinter to the men’s room because Grumpy Gary, Lazy Larry & Negative Nancy PISS me off.
Yeah, I said it.
STOP and listen Debbie. Listen real good, because this message is for you. I need to tell you something maybe you haven’t heard before: YES, you can.
Damnit Debbie! I said YES YOU CAN!
Sure, maybe not today. Or maybe not even this week. There’s no magic button you can push that will miraculously boost your confidence in 3 minutes or less, like one of those frozen TV dinners.
But if you try, practice, and STOP making excuses for your lack of effort you’ll see that eventually, in time, you CAN.
Let’s say your slightly-above-minimum-wage-too-much-black-tea-drinking-always-in-your-personal-space employer were to say to you: “Downer! I want you to try this” and you reply with “No dude, I can’t” without any real effort… regardless of how you feel about him or her you’d eventually get fired. Kicked to the curb.
So why fire yourself without trying? Don’t do it Debbster.
And while I’m at it…
Lose The Bra! (Or The BRO, As Kramer Would Have It)
Here’s a tip:
Change your attitude to challenges and you’ll achieve success quicker. Here’s how…
Shift your mindset when something “different” presents itself. Learn to embrace a little change. Don’t be afraid. Say to yourself “Ok, let’s see what happens when I try this…” You might surprise yourself!
Throughout history the leaders, shows, businesses, artists, books and technologies that made an effort to try, think and embrace something different became the most successful. Tell yourself you CAN do it. Your mind will believe you.
So drop the excuses Double D, and throw out the negative support like a bad department store brassiere. (It never looked good on you anyway.) Burn that bad attitude! Judo-kick the self-defeating, self-doubting crap to the curb and start trying. Make an effort. Be optimistic.
And you’ll eventually see that yes, you can, Can, CAN!
– Shawn Byfield
Shawn Byfield - Certified Public Speaker, Dance Coach & Choreographer 
Thanks for sharing Melany! You never know. Even if you take a bigger leap and things don’t work out the way you anticipated, you’ll still learn something. Always something to gain from the experience. =)
I love this read! In my times of reflecting I can see that I am a goal setter and not normally afraid to try something new. Then I look at the new things I have tried vs. Things I put on hold. I like to set out and reach for goals I know I can achieve. When an opportunity presents, I tend to analize it “Is this too big of a step?” I ask myself. I like to go from point A to B to C and eventually reach Z. I do not think I’ve ever gone from A to Z and felt comfortable. Who knows maybe I should take a bigger leap just to see what happens. 🙂
Shawn……….I have been instructing dance for over 20 years and can’t tell you how glad I am you ‘vented’! Each and every word is true and I truly hope people read this and make changes in their lives. We are in control more than we know……..or thought. I always tell my students ‘you get back what you put out’!
I truly believe its a choice we all make and how we live our life… Be Happy… Appreciate things more… Life teaches us if we are willing to learn… Its simple…. right?
I always try to be positive, and hope it becomes contagious to those around me! Unfortunately we do encounter double Ds everyday, but I always try to make the best of it! I have been afraid to try things at time, however it is the encouragement of awesome people (like Shawn B) that get me through!
Do you know any Debbie’s? Does being optimistic help you? Are you afraid of trying? Share your thoughts?